Dear Who I Was Two Years Ago,


Dear Who I Was Two Years Ago, I can promise you two things that you'll achieve in the next 24 months: you'll finally learn how to fill in your eyebrows and it's going to get ugly before it gets pretty.

I can also promise you that you're going to be super freaking proud of yourself.

LOVE: You need to come to terms with how needy you are. And once you accept that about yourself, you'll start to realize it's not necessarily a bad thing. You operate just fine without a companion; you don't need one nearly as much as you are telling yourself that you do. You are capable of feeling happy, satisfied, and important without a significant other. But what a partner CAN do is contribute to your happiness. And wanting that from a partner while operating as a self-sustaining person is healthy and normal. Don't resent how much you enjoy being in a relationship and you'll actually start to enjoy being in a relationship.

WORK: You are going to have job offers fly at you in the coming months. Be patient. Be transparent. Be clear with expectations and unrelenting in your desire to have an employer meet them. You know what you want and aren't willing to compromise. Hold strong in your faith in yourself and you'll be rewarded with more satisfaction than you knew possible in your professional life.

FAMILY: You'll be divorced soon. That will be your new reality. And you'll want this. Don't forget that. And you will ask for this for a PERFECTLY good reason. You deserve a healthy relationship that isn't toxic. And that is actual something that is possible. You have to be willing to define what that means for you and the boys. They are affected by this too. Stay in therapy, keep the boys in therapy, and you'll come out of it scarred but alive. It's not going to kill you. So, go for that run you've been promising yourself you'd go on. Yes, it will be on a treadmill. Yes, it will be in your shitty ass apartment. But it will be the turning point, catapulting you out of depression and into a stable(r) frame of mind.

FRIENDSHIP: Your best friend of over fifteen years is going to cut you out of her life because you didn't cater to her every whim, making it very clear you weren't actually friends for a very long time before that. Evaluate your relationships closely and be wary of those that aim to use you. They are shitty people and you shouldn't feel bad for getting rid of them. Aim to surround yourself with women that live a purpose-driven life. Their purpose is not your business; their need for your support is.

FUTURE: Take some time to evaluate what's been working and what hasn't. This is deeply personal and will require a lot of journaling. When you figure out what's made you uniquely successful, bottle it up and pass it out without abandon. Pay it forward and you'll reap it back in return ten fold.

Good luck, previous version of myself. You'll need it. But you'll be fine.