Gratitude: The Struggle
The universe and I have just not been on the same page at all this year. And it's only April.
January: Break my arm and ankle; require surgery
February: Find out Thing 2 is deaf in one ear and undergo CT Scans, EKGs, and blood work
March: Car accident
April: Medical debt times two, first-time-ever taxes owed, upfront summer camp costs, loss of child support
IT HAS JUST NOT BEEN MY YEAR SO FAR.
Typically, I am VERY good under pressure. I'm an Identify-Address-Solve kind of girl. But christ on a cracker, I am sucking hard figuring out how to manage all of this.
Never shy to ask for help, I reached out during a moment of genuine panic as I became overwhelmed by how much money I don't have. And nothing makes you feel out of control faster than recognizing you have zero grasp on your finances. Facebook to the rescue.
While it's always so incredibly easy to throw yourself a long, extended pity party (of which I am oft to do, my father will tell me), it's also just a nice reminder from time to time to know that you've got a sincere force of support behind you. And I'm fully aware of those people who have my back. So I tapped into it. As soon as I outwardly and openly asked for help, the private messages, comments, and texts rolled in. And it was exactly what I needed to feel more in control and capable of tackling the situation.
So in an effort to take my own advice on being grateful, which I was NOT feeling today, I'm readjusting the way I'm viewing these problems.
January: Break my arm and ankle; requires surgery Managed to time breaking my arm perfectly - three days after my corporate insurance kicked in
February: Find out Thing 2 is deaf in one ear and undergo CT Scans, EKGs, and blood work Turns out he is totally fine and has been deaf his whole life, adapted beautifully, and was never the wiser to a total hearing life therefore he doesn't need adjusting.
March: Car accident I wasn't high like the dude that hit me. Insurance covered all costs.
April: Medical debt times two, first-time-ever taxes owed, upfront summer camp costs, loss of child support I have insurance, Thing Two has insurance, owing taxes is just an American right of passage, I can afford summer camp and have a need for it (thank you, full time employment), and their father is moving to our town full time to split custody 50/50
So in terms of bitching and moaning, I don't have a whole lot to worry about. And with the right perspective, there is everything to be grateful for.